Update: It's not the end of the world (part one)

Remember that day last December when everyone thought it was going to be the end of the world? December 21st, the end of the 5000 year cycle in the Mayan calendar? Gave a few people the heebie jeebies? Made a few news readers crack that 'fun' smile they normally keep for ufo stories?

The pic below (click to enlarge) is a reminder of what the sky looked like that day. The big pointy triangle is a Yod, aka finger of fate or finger of God, which was part of all the hoo-ha, as complete Yods are less common than other planet patterns (this is when they have a central line running from point to base within the triangle, formed by two planets standing opposite each other).

 

Anyway turns out of course it wasn't the end of the world, but it felt like it to me, as this was the day I was diagnosed with grade 3 aggressive breast cancer. How mad is that? I do pick my days! And it wasn't intentional to be in hospital that day, believe me; I was supposed to be getting the Christmas turkey from Marks and Spencer, but instead I was being fast tracked in for tests to avoid holiday delay; and I suppose a yod is not known as the finger of fate for nothing. 

The reason I am mentioning this is not just coz it's an unlucky coincidence, but because I am intending looking at some of the astrology of my journey from that day. There were some interesting links between my chart and the Yod chart, and I am noticing that it doesn't end there... events since then are being described perfectly in planet patterns time and time again.

So, I am intrigued enough to go public and make some notes. It's taken me this long to get started coz I am well out of practice blogging! I also had surgery early January to get rid of the tumour and am just feeling back to normal now. I plan to look back at some of the significant events over the past few weeks, including the different kinds of healing I am embarking on; I also have chemo and radiotherapy to go yet, so am curious as to how astrology is going to be playing out during this time for me.

I have decided the message from the universe about my diagnosis was 'it's not the end of the world', but I don't know quite how I feel about seeing the whole thing reflected so vividly in my birth chart and in the current sky map; maybe I will find out the more notes I make? Anyway, that's all for now, more to come soon.

New Moon Eclipse In Cancer

... happening during the early hours of the 22nd July, UK time, about 3.30am. Eclipses seem to set future events in motion, by amplifying the emotional significance of events happening around the time of the eclipse, which future events then seem to unfold out of quite naturally; all within the symbolism of the sign involved. They set a certain tone or a theme for months, sometimes years to come, through the emotional response that events at the time of eclipse seem to invite, or sometimes demand.

This eclipse is in the sign of Cancer, so is uber-emotional anyway, being the sign of emotional attachments, emotional responses and comfort zones. It's all about the invisible emotional cords that pull us to places and people and things, so expect nostalgia and reminiscing, comfy chairs, comfy cardigans, and all that goes with joy of what's soothingly familar, but also what is holiday hell when families get together to squabble amongst fine food and suppressed emotional clutter.

I think this eclipse could highlight need versus neediness, or emotional fulfilment versus lack of it. Then it's the emotional response to it all which is going to count...pangs of indefinable, free-floating, restless discontent might seem to beg for icecream or therapy sessions, but I do think its more symptomatic of feeling the effects of being unplugged from yourself. And no amount of anything that you reach for outside yourself for is going to cut it.

So I think it's a theme of emotional disconnection/reconnection highlighted at the moment, which continues in various forms through situations over the coming months, and while it might seem like others are important in this emotional equation, it's really about being plugged in or not to yourself, and the icky vibes that come with falling out of love with yourself. There's just not enough ice cream in the world to soothe that break-up...

New Moon In Cancer 22nd June...

... and it's powered by Pluto, standing right opposite in the zodiac, in the sign of Capricorn. I've been having super-charged Pluto transits lately, which always makes me go all quiet on this blog for some reason (Scorpio ruling 3rd house of communication perhaps?), and yet now look! - a Pluto powered new moon has brought me out of hiding! :)

Reason being I saw this luverly photo and quote, posted on a forum I visit (thanks Ocean!), and it just oozed what I feel about this new moon vibe. Whenever I am feeling frazzled and fragmented by life, I find that in a good contemplate over a picture of some fabulous symmetry in nature (especially circles), the image of natural wholeness soothes and heals my furrowed brow no matter how heavily it's been on overheat from hamster-wheeling through a problem; and there is something somehow so solution-orientated and nourishing for the soul about this pic and quote that feeds the intense need for completion and fulfilment being activated by this extra-emotionally driven Cancer Moon. So here's self respect in a new light, under the dark moon phase:



"You would all be all right with who you are if you had been making your decisions based upon how they feel to you all along. But it is because you have been trying to evaluate yourself through the eyes of others...You are so hard on yourselves when you are someplace different than where you want to be. And that is what this message is all about. You must soothe yourself into emotional comfort before your desires can become manifest. You cannot hold yourself in disrespect of self and get what you want."

Abraham-Hicks, Ashville 10/23/05

A 4th House Story And A Full Moon In Cancer

Don't know about you but my December has whizzed by in a Saturn in Virgo style flurry of lists, commitments and stuff to sort, as well as a waving off of old stuff and welcoming in of new stuff, and in trying to suss my damaged internet connection... Amy Winehouse has been a more reliable performer than my net connection of late, which along with a continuing saga of various housing situation issues (noisy neighbours, grrrr) meant I've been able to spend even less time than usual writing this blog than I would like.

Transformation planet Pluto hit the base of my chart, my 4th house, a couple of years ago (4th house rules comfort zone, home and family, what's private, personal and very emotionally driven, just like its ruling planet, the moon), and it has been a bit of an intense emotional rollercoaster since then to say the least. Pluto has been in opposition to my Mercury/MC combo at the highest point of my chart, which has manifested as a constant challenge of whether home/personal stuff or work/outside world stuff wins my attention. And months ago I spotted the pile-up of planets that were due to congregate around Pluto at this time of the year and eyed it with trepidation, wondering what on earth else might be about to manifest in this 4th house mix as a result of the Sagittarius sun, expansion planet Jupiter (my 4th house ruler), and communication planet Mercury mingling and merging with the Pluto energy.

I've worked with astrology long enough to know that any energy, no matter how intense looking can express positively, yet it still felt bizarre last week, when with utter synchronicity, right in the heart of all the swooshing busyness, a perfect and peaceful new place for me to live appeared from apparently nowhere (on the day Jupiter moved into Capricorn), transforming everything in my situation including my faith, in a Pluto moment. I've always been into the 'create your own reality' approach of the Law of Attraction philosophy, but what I'd found difficult was not the idea that we are each the creator of our own reality, but the challenge of holding faith long enough toward a preferred vision of the future for positive thinking to get going a snowball-down-mountain type momentum and expansion.

How to think positively when you've already got yourself in a real negative situation is always the dilemma; how to hold the dream while reality keeps biting. Well it can't be done overnight that's for sure, but there's nothing like a stellium in the sign of Sagittarius to help be buoyant enough to rise high above 'reality' and realise that reality is built on belief, and so is as transient and pliable as belief itself.

And now the Solstice is upon us, serving as a cosmic timer for significant turning points, and it means there's a change of mood afoot. Here in the northern hemisphere, Winter Solstice marks the beginning of the sun's journey through earthy Capricorn. This year it is joined by expansion-orientated Jupiter; and during the early hours of Christmas Eve here in the UK the sun in Capricorn stands opposite moon in Cancer, indicating a full moon. With Mars close to the moon on one side of the zodiac, and Pluto still close to sun/Jupiter/Mercury on the other side, it all spells tension as the energies pull against each other. But while I'm gritting my teeth having to write this through my neighbour's endless repeat drivel of overly loud bad-taste power ballads on a hi-fi that only seems to work to its full capacity very late at night, by the end of January I'm outta here, which makes the anticipation of change a real tension breaker.

Change and transition is such a big theme of late 2007 and early 2008; it's everywhere you look, and the mood has now moved from the recent promise of Sagittarius to the anticipation of commitment in Capricorn. Where Sag was about huge leaps of faith, Cap is the next known small step, so Capricorn is easier to handle in that respect; but it's also the sign of great expectations, and apparently the universe delivers experience according to our expectations of it. Therefore this full moon might be a good time to look at expectations of experiences ahead, increasing a feeling of deservability accordingly if low levels are sighted.

Mars In Cancer Can Feel Like A Scratchy Woollen Knit

Now that pushy but passionate Mars has moved into the sign of emotional attachments, comfort zones, family ties and domestic bliss, for me it’s all feeling like one of those really harsh, prickly wool garments, the ones that irritate and frustrate with every darn movement you make (and with Saturn now in Virgo, it probably won't wash well either), a garment that you are dying to free yourself of at the first opportunity, to throw to the ground and stamp all over in revenge for each twinge of abrasive discomfort it ever brought you...

...mind you, I have a lot of Pluto stuff going on too, so maybe that’s merging into a more revealing revenge metaphor, but you know what I mean? Now’s the time you are really going to notice what irritates you because in the ultra-senstive sign of Cancer there’s no way Mars is going to sit back, switch off, and let what is bugging you carry on without it inciting some sort of inner riot of emotion just begging to be acted upon. It's then the choice of action that counts I suppose - choose the response instead of it choosing you, and all that. (Do you remember when some New Age assertiveness teachers advised a firm ‘Please step out of my auric egg...’ to be directed to anyone who had the insensitivity to sit too close at a party, in a queue or on a train, etc? I suppose it was meant to be more politely Libran than a hurried Aries style ‘Get outta my space, loser!’. And saying it didn't make them shift of course, but by the time everyone stopped laughing at the term ‘auric egg’ the ice was well and truly broken).

So what’s to be done? Mars is having an extended stay in Cancer due to a retrograde phase in November. The whole thing is set to last months. And not feeling emotion isn’t an option if you want to stay sane, while not feeling negative emotion isn’t an option if you want to stay balanced. As I’m a Law of Attraction fan, my preferred perspective is to think less about ways to kill or cure existing conditions, and notice more how the icky feelings associated with a current situation were actually already there tucked up warm and safe inside you before it all started in the first place.

As far as Law of Attraction goes, it's your own world view that is being reflected by the world, and feelings (arising from habits of thought around any given subject) indicate the kind of conditions you are set to attract; so regardless of appearances, it's not what is 'out there' that is likely to be the original cause of a feeling. And as the universe is designed to always move towards 'more', it means for example, if I’m feeling irritated for long enough (it doesn't happen overnight, it's a build-up), it will support my thoughts and feelings by providing the perfect scratchy sweater in a myriad of different styles and forms to assist me to move towards more irritation. Blaming the sweater is pointless as it only exists as supportive evidence of my outlook on life. So while all emotions are good and healthy, it seems a choice has to be made about what to dwell on, nurture, and therefore make more of. Change the outlook to change the sweater...

Full Moon In Cancer 3rd January

2007 kicks off with a full on kind of Full Moon on 3rd January at around 2pm GMT, when the Moon in comfort-zone craving Cancer stands in exact opposition to the Sun in duty-bound Capricorn. This is an annual occurrence, and part of the solar/lunar cycle we’re all naturally attuned to on the deepest levels, but the question is how best to tap this current energy and work consciously with it?

A Full Moon in any sign can lead to an emotional shift or turning point of some sort, often arising from an ever-increasing tension around an issue that there’s suddenly no escaping. The tension is symbolised by the Sun and Moon positioned at opposite ends of the zodiac, 180 degrees apart, each expressing according to the nature of the particular sign they both occupy.

The Moon rules the sign of Cancer, emphasising the focus on all emotional attachments. The emotional ties can be with anything from actual home and family bonds, to our most familiar friends, as well as routines and habits, and memories and nostalgia for old faces and forgotten places. Meanwhile the Sun in Capricorn speaks of responsibility, duty, maturity and authority. It's all about expectations and demands, terms and conditions, as well as creativity through timing, planning, progress and discipline.

Mix and match these or similar keywords for your personal Full Moon theme. My theme is about a habit I know I have to break. A few months ago, I started smoking again after over two years smoke free. My excuse was the stress of my current living circumstances - I live right on a very busy crossroads, where the traffic literally shakes the walls and rattles the pots and pans. As well as this, I have a noisy neighbour who plays music every night. And I mean EVERY night!

Alternative accommodation is hard to find where I live, but I have a potential new place just perfect for me, that I first heard about last March (on the day of the solar eclipse in Aries!), and I'm just waiting for the call to say it's mine. But it’s been a long wait! And I started smoking again in a misguided attempt to cope with the relentless stress and pressure of the constant noise and disturbance.

So here I am feeling at odds (Full Moon) with this habit (Moon/Cancer), versus the need to get real (Capricorn) and admit smoking is a coping mechanism that isn’t working, having only really brought a new stress all of its own. I've taken the first step and bought my nicotine chewing gum, but haven't had the guts to set the date yet. As far as the astrology goes, I’m well aware this is a great time to be planning to break a habit, as Uranus is in strong and supportive aspect to the Full Moon, and in my own chart the South Node of the Moon is currently crossing my natal Pluto (old habits dying hard!).

Thanks to astrology, I'm also aware that the best way to deal with the at-odds feeling of conflict and opposition is to not push against the feelings that are brought up. I know at some point very soon I'm going to have to feel those nicotine cravings through without resisting by lighting up another cig.

So wish me luck! And I wish you the same if the Full Moon is raising your interest in making a resolution or two...